And Now for Something Completely Cliche
by Inu Hanyou Nikkie
Summary: Kagome comes back to the Feudal Era. InuYasha isn’t waiting like a good boy. Kagome sees the Shini-dama-chuu and fears the worst. And just like a train-wreck, she’s compelled to go and see and hear for herself Glutton for punishment . What does she see?


**And Now for Something Completely Cliché!**

**This was written as an entry to Ayamegusa and KnittingKnots' Cliche Contest on DeviantART. Word limit 1500  
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Had to use this Scenario: Take the familiar scenario – Kagome runs away from Inuyasha after having an argument, or after having seen him and Kikyou together, and then after periods of angst, Inuyasha's confused feelings and such, they come together in love confessions and a happy ending – and write it in the most clichéd way as possible. This includes bad clichés of every kind, one-dimensional characterisation, over the top emotions, and long confessions of love.

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**Title: And Now for Something Completely Cliché!**

**Author: Inu Hanyou Nikkie**

**Word Count:** 1440

**Genre:** Canon, Parody

**Rating: T**

**Summary:** Kagome comes back to the Feudal Era. InuYasha isn't waiting like a good boy. Kagome sees the Shini-dama-chuu and fears the worst. And just like a train-wreck, she's compelled to go and see and hear for herself (Glutton for punishment). What does she see and hear. Kagome flies off the handle aka: bungee-jumps without bungee cord and Osuwaris occur and what will happen to them.

**Warning(s):** Bad character acting, very bad character acting. Extremely painful incorrect spellings/grammar. An obsessed rain cloud. Cliches. Sappy skipping through fields of wildflowers…. You can probably guess to what else will be there. OOC-ness!

**Apology:** For the Cliché extremely bad spelling and grammar I had to stop after a certain point. It was actually hurting my head to think and write that dumbly.

**Additional Note:** I HAVE come across many many writers who stated in their notes that they're were TOO LAZY to be bothered with using Spell Check or a Dictionary.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own nor make any monies off of Inuyasha and the gang. No, that pleasure completely belongs to the Goddess Rumiko Takahashi, Shounen Sunday, VIZ. I am only using them for pure entertainment value only.

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**And Now for Something Completely Cliché!**

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The wheher was brite when Kagome appeered at the bottem of the BoneEater's Well in the time that has beacome her hume than the future. Kagome had a displeased exprecion upon her beautiful face. Her blue-gray eyes narowing. Her lips turned down into a sad phout.

Were was InuYasha she wandered. Usually the cocky and childish Inu hanyou wood be paysing or sitting impatiencely beside the well. Shulking, too.

She finelly pulled herself out of the well. She was abot to reach for her yellow pack and hed to Kaede's when the opening notes to Kikyou's theme strated playing making her back go rhighid. Next came the hunting sounds of her Shini-dama-chuu in the area.

Spinning slowly, she faced the forest in the directson of the sounds. No she new were he was. She began to hyperventitilate, sweet poored from her body as she brougt a paper bag to her mouf. He was going to hell! He was going to hell! This all ran threw her head befour she raced twowards them.

He was going to get the osuwari-ing of his life! Kagome tought angrily as tears raced her cheeks.

Finally she reached the heart-breaking scene. Befour her was InuYasha posed in a most dramatic pose and Kikyou looking even more beautifully tragic and perfect as ever. Newest addition was the small dark black raincloud over her head that constantly rained on her. Her tears fell harder on her face.

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"Kikyou, my perfection of perfection!" cried InuYasha as he gathered up the soggy undead miko in her arms. Kikyou made a slightly squishy noise.

"Okay, so, like, InuYasha, like, it's almost time for me to, like, leave this world! Like, know what I mean? Chaa-yah! And, like, you totally, like, promised me, like, that you'd, like, go to Hell with me! Like, I'm so calling, like, you up on that! Like, you totally owe me! Like, you ruined my clothes! Like, I just got them new, like, that day! Like, it's all, like, your fault, like, you murderer!" Kikyou raged monotonelessly at the Posturing Inu hanyou (her words slightly hard to understand from the rainwater pouring all off her).

"Oh Kikyou! If that is what you wish then I shall! You were the only one who let me close to you!"

"Like, ew! Like, I'm so getting, like, covered in, like, wet dog smell! Like, how can that, like, worthless excuse, like, for a totally uncool and, like, totally not pretty copy, like, stand it! Like, she can't hit, like, the broadside of a castle, like, if she stood, like, nose squished against it, like!!"

"Kikyou! Don't think that about Kagome!"

"Does, like, that copy mean, like, more to you than, like, I?" Silence was the answer that greeted her question.

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"Like, there is the, like, useless meat bag now!" Kikyou smiled maliciously at Kagome before she pulled InuYasha's head towards hers and obviously pressed herself and her tongue into his lips for a kiss. Of course, Kagome won't see this seeing that since she always knows that it's InuYasha who kisses Kikyou everytime they meet up.

It was all too much for Kagome and she sobbed outloud causing the tragic couple to break apart. InuYasha looking extremely guilty and Kikyou extremely smug even if she was soaked through more than a wet rag.

"I-I'm so-sorry f-for in-interrup-pting y-you," she said brokenly as she cried.

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Kikyou smugly smiled more and with the suction powers that could put Myouga to shame attached herself to InuYasha's arm. She quickly chanted a spell which overtook the hanyou and caused him to have blank, empty eyes as he humped her leg like the dog he was. Kiykou was perfection, even as her leg was shaken up, still managed to raise and arm her bow and fire an arrow at Kagome catching her in the shoulder.

"Like, get lost you little, like, tramp! He's, like, mine!"

Kagome sobbed even more dramatically, a little man came out of the woods to give her an Emmy for her great Drama and Angst. She accepted the award and ran away.

Away to her own time.

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Once out of sight, Kikyou freaked out on InuYasha for humping her leg and pulled out a rolled-up newspaper to smack him many times even as she verbally abused him for being a very bad dog. Her goal accomplished, Kikyou kicked the hanyou off her leg and let her Shini-dama-chuu spirit her away.

InuYasha shook his head clear of the heavy fog that had suddenly engulfed him. What happened? Where was Kikyou and Kagome? And why does he smelled Kagome's tears heavy in the air? These were all questions he needed to think on. So with the complete posture of a beaten and whipped dog he dragged his feet to the Goshinboku tree to ponder.

Up there, he was finally able to make a Kikyou Pro/Con Compare to Kagome Pro/Con List. He listed everything he could think of and some were helpfully offered to him by many visits by Miroku, Kaede, Sango and Shippou… and the Village Head, his wife, the baker, the butcher, the inn keeper, the candlestick maker, and the little boy who had bad gas problems….

He felt like his face was going to set in the guilty, heart-broken, miserable, despressed, love-struck expression before he figured it out.

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Finally, he figured it out after four days.

_Kikyou wanted me to become human before she'd even let me kiss her. Now she kisses me only because she's dead. Kikyou never wanted me to show violence in her presence. She wanted me to act a certain way. She never wanted others to see us together_.

_Kagome is always touching me and letting me touch her! She doesn't tell me to stop being myself. She treats me like a real person…. She …. Accepts me! Kagome accepts me! Me – the hanyou!! And the looks and scents Kagome gives off when I catch her looking at me, Kikyou never had these whenever we were together_!

_Kagome… __Loves__… me_!

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This revelation caused InuYasha to fall out of the tree and crash to the forest floor. He groaned in pain and waited for the little stars and cute chirping birds to go away before he got up. Then like a speeding bullet, InuYasha took off for the Well and to bring back his soul-mate and his True Love Kagome. Maybe he can even ask her to be his Mate!

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Going through the well, InuYasha leapt up into the tree by her window and stopped. There was Kagome fast asleep upon her bed, looking frail and yet so incredibly beautiful even with the evidence of her crying on her face. His face softened even more into a tender look of love. Quietly he slipped through her open window, he knelt beside her bed and patted her leg gently. He had some much to talk with her about but he could wait until she woke up.

He sighed happily breathing in the scent that was all Kagome. Feeling at peace for the first time in days, he leaned his back against Kagome's bed near her body and drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

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The sensation of great pain in his face woke him up. Seems that Kagome had woken up first and Osuwari-ed him many times. He scented the air, yep, she was furious with him… and very sad.

In his prone position, InuYasha decided it was the best time to talk to Kagome. And he did just that. His words flowed from his lips from his heart and soul to Kagome's heart and soul. He told her that he had figured it out and apologized for being so incredibly blinded by his past, which was just that – His PAST. He told Kagome that SHE was his FUTURE. A future he wanted to have by being by her side for all eternity.

Kagome's eyes welled with tears as his words stunned her into silence. And like a BAM! She instantly forgave him everything. Her momentary silence caused the Inu hanyou to fear that it was far too late for him when a warm body crashed into his back and a crying Kagome was saying I love you over and over again. Turning around in her embrace InuYasha wrapped himself around her even as she wrapped herself more into him.

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Later that night as they held hands and skipped through the fields of pretty wildflowers towards the glowing horizon, InuYasha stopped and pulled Kagome gently into his arms and whispered I love you, Ka-Go-Me before claiming her mouth in a most loving and tender kiss. The first of many.

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Owari

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End Notes: I won First Place for the Contest. And the reference to the Nursery Rhyme 'Three Men in a Tub' was completely unintentional! I hadn't even realize it was there until after someone mentioned it.


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